October Days....

 Trying to enjoy them.

Trying to avoid nervousness.

It is it is it is!

Do we get better as we get older?

Time will tell!

The Movie "Hair"

 I loved it upon first viewing the spring of 1979 at age thirteen!

And now due to streaming I can view it in my own home with subtitles!

Hair (1979) - IMDb

I especially enjoyed the performances of John Savage and Treat Williams; Savage also starred in "The Deer Hunter", another Vietnam War era movie released in the late 1970s.

And as my sister said after viewing the later "National Lampoon's Vacation".....why does Chevy Chase's character bother running after Christie Brinkley when he is married to Beverly Dangelo!

VANDA Productions

 Here is where it all started:

Flowers in the Attic - Wikipedia

Big thrills during the summer of 1980--forty-five years ago!

During the mid twenty tens I discovered that Lifetime Network had produced a series of movies through the fourth book "Seeds of Yesterday".

The action of "Seeds" occurred during the summer of 1997; I read it during the summer of 1986, and I vividly recall thinking "I will be in my early thirties then."

I am now in my late fifties!

Time flies....

Then a few years later I saw "Garden of Shadows" in a bookstore and leafed through it enough to reveal a few more "secrets...."

Now I have just learned via my Roku that Lifetime produced a whole series based on "Garden" called:

Flowers in the Attic: The Origin.

And there are other books in the series:

Christopher's Diary: Secrets of Foxworth - Wikipedia

Christopher's Diary: Echoes of Dollanganger - Wikipedia

Christopher's Diary: Secret Brother - Wikipedia

And even a follow up to the Audrina book:

• In an October 2015 interview, Andrew Neiderman (the ghostwriter) announced that he was writing a sequel to My Sweet Audrina, titled Whitefern. This was met with a mostly unfavorable reaction from V. C. Andrews' core fans. The sequel was released by Pocket Books July 26, 2016.

It is weird contemplating my feelings forty-five years ago as a bullied and rejected fourteen-year-old wondering if anyone would ever love me.

Here I Go Again.....

 Last night I experienced horrible nightmares.

Is this part of becoming older?

I certainly hope not.

Getting into fall now....we aren't yet there but we are getting there!

On The Eve of Sixty....

....here I am!

I don't know what I expected at sixty.

Just not this...

On the eve of bliss.....

Sixty sixty guess who is nearly sixty!

Into July

 My brother's wife died at the end of May.

That is a blunt reminder that we are all immortal.

When I was a child I frequently confused "immoral" and "immortal."

Go figure.

I also confused "brought" and "bought."

Maybe this was a mental block.

I Am Here And I Will Live....

 I possess a certain amount of survivor guilt.

Why am I here when so many others have died????

I am an atheist; I leaned towards the agnostic side for several years then my 2010 cancer diagnosis at age forty-four tipped the balance for me.

As a result, following my 2018 stroke there was nobody to receive my anger.

I am firm in my belief that there are no deities!

The above is not anything to upset over.

It merely is  REALITY!

I don't always relish hiding my atheism.

I have accepted that it is one of the requirement toward harmonious relationships with other homo sapiens.

Tbere are days when I fervently wish I were not a member of the said species.

However unlike to protagonist of Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis" I never change overnight.....

A Death In The Family....

 ...Too soon....too soon!

It Is May!

 Is the entire month one gorgeous holiday?

Does every maiden wish that her lad would be a cad?

Six Months From Today I Will Achieve My Sixtieth Birthday.....

 The Big Six Oh!

https://www.amazon.com/Sex-After-Sixty-Guide-Women/dp/0816165076

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/interactive/a45893760/sex-after-60/

It Is The Fifth Anniversary Of The Beginning Of The Covid 2019 Pandemic

 https://www.npr.org/2021/03/11/975663437/march-11-2020-the-day-everything-changed

"March 11, 2020. The Day EVERYTHING Changed!" 😮😢🙂

 

As I Continue To "Blow Through" Life....

I want to be more understanding.

I want to attempt to look at issues through others' eyes prior to passing judgment.

I want to be as agreeable and amiable as possible, even when dealing with someone I dislike.

I want to be industrious and plan the best possible use of resources.

I am in a manic stage...

 ....Energy energy energy...

Busy at work but it is good to keep busy!

Quote from John Powers: "In Chicagoland March is the FINAL FART of winter..." certainly true for 2025 but then it is true EVERY YEAR!

February 28!

 The end of winter...hopefully!

Ah February! Groundhog Day, Valentine's Day, Presidents Day, and once ever four years an extra day!

I will put away all my winter decorations tomorrow (Christmas specific stuff went into the closet a week into January).

And we will get ready for spring, which here in Chicagoland probably won't materialize until well into May.

"Summer Of Sam"

This is one of my favorite movies! 

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summer_of_Sam]

Of course 1977 was one of my worst years ever...specifically because of the significant event occuring in August!

I am not referring to the death of Elvis Presley; rather to the beginning of my ongoing issue with facial oily skin.

I am now nearly sixty years old.

This has been the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!

Early 1977 is also when I began to feel "tired": of life, of parental and peer group hassles, of everything....

Menstruation began in January 1978; one of the major reasons why that year was also the pits.

My worst year was 2018 with the four following years all vying for second place: 1977, 1978, 1984, and 1985.

February is Black History Month so I am currently rewatching the original TV mini series "Roots!" 

Coincidently this first aired in 1977.

Winter 2024-2025 is two thirds over!

 At least that is what I told myself on February 1!

I will have to check if the ground hog saw his or her shadow...

Last night there was snow but it will all melt today since the forecasted high is in the forties.

The Recent Death Of Jimmy Carter....

 ...has had me rethinking the 1970s decade.

Upon taking office in 1977 Carter promptly pardoned the draft dodgers.

Even earlier the US people had soured on Watergate and wanted new people.

The Energy Crisis, The Meat Shortage....it was all there!

And as for me that era is the beginning of my general fatigue; at age eleven in 1977!

I still remember watching the news story re Amy Carter's first day of public school in Washington DC; both my parents promptly exclaimed: "Look at that poor girl! She is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED."

Neither of them seemed to notice my own school attendance terror.

Or if they did they simply ignored it.

Now in less than two week another inaugural will occur; OH HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN!

 It is a full twenty-five years since the Y2K scare....time definitely flies!

And I turn sixty years old this year; that is mind bloggling!

"People my age have already started to die...."

I have to start living again.....